We are living in a time of great collective trauma and associated with that trauma is grief. Grief is often assumed to be a term applied to sorrow after the death of a beloved, but in fact grief comes from Latin gravis/gravare meaning heavy or weighty.

The NHS definition of grief includes overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying, tiredness or exhaustion. But it also includes anger – towards the person you've lost or the reason for your loss, and guilt – for example, guilt about feeling angry, about something you said or did not say, or about not being able to stop your loved one dying.

I found this really interesting – grief is not just sadness but also, in particular, anger and guilt. And grief can be about much more than the death of a beloved. It can occur when a person has died, but also when a pet has died, or someone has left your life, or you have lost something you valued, such as a job, or a house, a personal possession or even your health or your liberty.

And there is collective grief, which is what many people in the world are experiencing right now, as they see ways of being that they valued disappearing, and as they see people, animals and the environment being disrespected or even annihilated.

Even when grief is associated with a particular person you love, it comes in many different forms. There is often anticipatory grief in advance of an actual death. This can be when someone is in a coma, or suffering from dementia. You know there is not going to be an amazing cure or recovery, but they may hang on to life for a while, yet they are not the person you knew and loved. This anticipatory grief can last for a long time and may lead to a massive sense of relief when the person finally dies.

Disenfranchisement grief is when you are not able to mourn the person because society doesn’t acknowledge or validate your loss. For instance gay partners who were living a secret life without the knowledge of friends or family, or secret lovers, or perhaps partners who hid their relationship because of race, colour or mental health. Disenfranchisement grief can also cover stigmatized loss like suicide or incarceration.

Then there is the incredibly difficult and potentially prolonged ambiguous loss – a profound and unresolved loss without closure, caused when there is uncertainty, for instance someone has gone missing or has been kidnapped and you don’t know if they are dead or alive. It can also happen with adoption or leaving children behind in another country.

All this as well as bereavement grief, which I will focus on more particularly in my next blog.